The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas
by mint repeat
Summary: JONAS. The contents of this journal are not meant for prying eyes. Intruders and snoopers will face the wrath of the crazy Joe Lucas. You have been warned stranger. Joe/Macy. AU. Complete.
1. Part One

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas.**

**--**

**July 31st, Friday.**

_Horace Mantis Academy, Counselor's office, 11.15 am._

I'm currently having a staring contest with the counselor. She seems to be winning because my eyes are beginning to twitch like I'm being electrocuted.

Damn it, she won. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to a staring contest with her. My game is so not on.

You know what's the catch? Because there's always a catch kiddies. The catch is that I write in a journal so that I can expend my excess energy usefully. I'm quoting the counselor word for word here.

Apparently I have too much energy which I use to pull crazy stunts and the counselor feels it's because I have too much creativity and my creativity needs a outlet which will not cause people trouble. Something mild like a journal for me to pour all my excess ideas into.

Come again?

Yeah you heard right, the journal is to be used to curb my excess energy.

I can assure you, I have no excess energy of any sort. I'm filled with normal teenage energy like every other teenager in a kick-ass boy band who's on the run from rabid fan girls and has an alternate personality called DJ Danger who is the shizz.

Hmmm. Could it be?

Damn it, the loon has a point.

-

_Horace Mantis Academy, Cafeteria, 12.30 pm_.

Dear Manly Man Journal,

I would like to expressly state that I'm writing here under severe duress from Nick Lucas and Kevin Lucas and Stella Malone. And because Nick is being a snotty little snoop and reading over my shoulder, I shall write mean things about him.

Nick Lucas is a dodo head. (You heard that right mister! I went there!)

And because Kevin Lucas laughed at me, he's a…he's a dodo…bird.

And just because Stella Malone insulted my insult she's a…okay, she's the sweetest, nicest, prettiest girl on the planet. (She hijacked my journal and threatened me with numb chucks!)

Can't a man even call a journal is own?

Fack it, Macy's coming. I've got to put this away so that she doesn't see me as a pathetic, wimpy, un-manly man.

Later.

-

_Lucas Residence, Bedroom, 4.30 pm._

MMJ, (yeah, I need an abbreviation because it's freaking annoying to write out your whole name. besides MMJ, is pretty cool, yes?)

I think talking to an inanimate book just about certifies why I need to go to the asylum for the crazies. Anyhow, that point aside, there's currently a bump the size of a watermelon, _fine_ grapefruit, _fine_ grape, on my head.

Guess, courtesy who?

Yep, Macy Misa.

But this time it wasn't because of some fan girl moment, she got over that a long time ago. Instead she tripped over something, landed in my lap and boinked me on the head with her hockey stick.

Boinked sounds awfully kinky, don't it? I think the hormones have travelled all the way up to my brain, from my pants. How fun. As evident, I'm _so_ not being sarcastic.

I didn't know which was more embarrassing, the fact that she landed in my lap, just near, you know my... junk, or the fact that as she was getting up, I got a peek down her shirt. I'm ashamed of myself as I rightly should be but I couldn't help it.

I'm a teenage boy. There are crazy hormones running amuck in my body. And as we all know, teenage boys are unwilling slaves to their hormones.

Crazy hormones plus expanse of skin seen through shirt equals unbearable agony in the form of rapidly tightening pants.

You see my problem?

Any lesser mortal would have quailed but I manfully helped her up, didn't do anything inappropriate and I generally behaved like a courteous person. Except Macy didn't even want to look me in the face after that. I don't blame her. Who would want to talk to some pervert who took a peek down their shirt when they had fallen down?

I sometimes feel there's a universal law that makes sure whenever a boy is around his crush; he does something stupid and inappropriate which totally sets the crush against him. In this case me.

Macy probably thinks of me as Joe Lucas of JONAS, pervert.

The universe conspires against me.

-

_Lucas Residence, Balcony, 10.00 pm._

Guess who called?

Yeah, Macy did. She asked me if I was fine. She was pretty apologetic on the phone. But I told her it was nothing. I'm a strong guy and I can take a hockey stick to the head. She giggled at that part. It was so adorable, man; I wish she were here in person.

Cause it feels nice making her laugh and all. It makes me feel like less of an idiot. And I would so like her to see me as the person who makes her laugh, not the person who peeks down her shirt.

She then put the phone down saying she'd see me tomorrow and the best part of all, she wished me sweet dreams and sunbeams.

Dude, I just about melted.

(Did I just call a diary dude? I think I'm crazier than the counselor suspects. Oh well, all the better for me. This way she can't catch me and straitjacket me in some insane asylum.)

I wished her sweet dreams and sunbeams too.

Now I think I need to go to bed. The head's paining like a mother. Clearly I can't take a hockey stick to the head. But what Macy won't know, won't hurt her right?

Night, MMJ.

-

**Notes to self.**

Hide journal from Frankie. Attach a lock to it. And make no copy of the key.

Ask Stella to loosen pants.

Memorize some jokes to tell Macy and sound witty and sophisticated.

Ask Mom, who the heck ate my Slim Jims? _They will pay_. There will be blood. Muhahahaha!

Eurgh!

The throat hurts!

--

**I couldn't resist. I just thought it would be a lot of fun. :)**


	2. Part Two

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Two.**

**--**

**August 1st, Saturday.**

_Lucas Residence, Bedroom, Afternoon, 1.00 pm._

Dear MMJ,

When a man can't even find peace in his own house, what with nosey brothers and nosier friends, you know things are bad. So I have taken refuge in a place where nobody will voluntarily come.

Can you guess?

Though in retrospect you wouldn't be able to seeing as you are a journal, who is inanimate and cannot talk and offer your thoughts on the questions I may pose to you. It's a good thing you aren't sentient though, that would just be creepy. And isn't sentient a fun word? I learnt it from watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Stella cannot complain that I don't know words. Though she probably will continue to do so seeing as I will not show her this journal where I show my impressive vocabulary with such finesse and alacrity.

Oh yeah, by the way I'm in the Stellavator.

My own genius amazes me. Stella comes here voluntarily but she wont now because she's arguing with Nick about the three cornered tear he made in his one of a kind Gucci silk shirt. She says it will take her a week to fix and she'd be damned if she's going to do it herself so Nick's going to be her seamstress for the week.

Hehehehe.

For once I'm not in trouble and I can talk about the thing that truly fascinates me.

Macy Misa.

Let's begin.

I love her hair. Seriously, it's a deep brown and it's soft and pretty and it smells amazing. It smells of green apples and cinnamon and god I love green apples and cinnamon. And whenever I see her hair, I have an insane urge to run my fingers through and take in deep breaths of the smell. Which I cant do always cause _hello_, that would just scream weirdo.

Plus it bounces around y'know. Not that's curly or anything but it falls in these waves which frame her face so prettily. And she looks so pretty. _No_, she looks beautiful.

I have a feeling I sound like a chick here but I don't care. Cause Macy's hair is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. There was this one time when all of us, that is Macy, I, Nick, Stella, Kevin went to a movie. When we were coming back, Macy fell asleep on my shoulder and I got to smell her hair for the whole ride back home.

I could have gotten high off of it. That was one of the best days of my life.

The other was of course when Macy kissed me on my cheek after I gave her, her birthday present.

This might sound creepy but after she kissed me, I quickly slapped a tissue onto my face and now as a reminder I have that tissue with an imprint of her blueberry lip-gloss and there's also a faint smell of my Burberry cologne.

It's the most awesome thing in the world.

I mean me and Macy smell very good together.

Sigh.

That brings me to how she smells.

Macy smells of Aloe Vera body lotion and sandalwood. It might sound like the weirdest combination but it smells heavenly, because it smells so warm and cozy. And sometimes when I meet her after sports practice, she smells even better because the smell is fresh because she had to hit the showers.

Hmmm…showers.

I will not think of Macy in the showers, covered in sandalwood lather. I will not think of Macy in the showers, covered in sandalwood lather. I will not think of Macy in the showers, covered in sandalwood lather.

Damn it, I'm thinking of her like that.

I need to avert a potential crisis and think of something else. Think…think…think. Ha! I'm thinking of Kevin doing the hula with a bear who is also playing the trumpet.

Funny!

Crisis averted.

Since I've spent the majority of this entry talking about girly stuff, I shall go and do some manly things now.

I shall go and look at magazines and ogle at the girls there. Of course, I won't be betraying Macy. I'll look at the girls and re-imagine them as Macy. That way I'm not betraying her.

It will probably be not conducive to my general well being but no one can say I'm a bad person.

Though maybe thinking of Macy like that will be bad.

Dangflabbit. (I picked this up from Hannah's friend Jackson, he's a funny guy. Weird but funny.)

Wait! I know, I shall go see monster trucks.

They are manly and I don't have to worry about being disrespectful.

I'm so clever.

-

_Lucas Residence, Lounge, 3.00 pm._

Dear MMJ,

I was watching monster trucks and then Macy came home. It turns out she had come to see if Stella was here. And Stella _was_ here, she now supervising Nick and his sowing skills.

Poor guy. I should have probably rescued him from the wrath of Stella but then that would have turned her wrath on me and though I love my brother very much, I think I love myself more.

She enquired about my head and I said that it was all better. She then gave me this questioning look and then felt my forehead. Her fingers on my forehead felt every nice. Macy has very nice fingers; they are cool and soothing on a hot brow.

I was going to tell her some of my witty and sophisticated jokes(I went and looked them up and practiced them in front of the mirror and all) when Kevin came and sat down next to her and began talking to her about schoolwork.

And just like that I was dumped aside for Biology.

However Frankie came and took Kevin away and once more I had Macy all to my self.

The funny part was that I wasn't able to say anything coherent. I talked about the most idiotic of things and Macy politely replied because Macy's very nice like that and even if an idiot talks to her she responds to them.

I mean everyday all I want to do is to spend some time with her. And then when I finally do, I just act really crazy which will probably make her wonder why she's even my friend in the first place. It's like someone flipped the crazy switch in my head without asking me first. And then they go and take the crazy switch out of my control so I can't control whatever nonsense spews put of my mouth.

Example.

Me: So Coach Kelly? He's creepy huh?

Macy: Really? But I thought he was nice. (She looked really confused here, not that I blame her.)

Me: No, I just heard a rumor that he likes to dress up as Princess Leia. (I don't know where this came from. Honestly.)

Macy: Maybe he likes playing dress up. I know I sometimes like pretending that I'm emo Nick. (And then she smiled at me, a dazzling big smile.)

Isn't that sweet of her? But she probably doesn't know that her coach is a cross-dressing man who also hits on the school receptionist. But I guess that doesn't make him a bad person. Just ups his weirdness quotient.

But seriously, isn't she sweet, admitting that she likes pretending she's emo Nick.

Me: That's cu—that's nice. You have to show me.

I almost said cute but didn't. Nice save isn't it. And then she showed me and I laughed like a hyena. That was embarrassing. Thankfully she didn't comment about it. But seriously, who talks about cross-dressing coaches to their crush? Only idiots like me.

Sigh.

And then Stella came at around 2.30 pm and took her away not before giving me a dirty look though. I fail to understand what I did wrong.

But maybe if I play the misunderstood tortured guy card, Macy might fall for me. That's sounds like a possibility. I'll have to subtly get her views on that though.

Fack, here come Nick and Kevin and Frankie. Putting you away. Don't want to get reamed about having a journal, even though it's a manly man one.

Bye.

-

**Notes to self.**

Ask Macy about her preference for brooding tortured guys.

Get a lock for the journal! Like fast. Frankie's close on MMJ's trail.

Find out which brand of blueberry lip-gloss Macy wears.

Try to be more witty and suave. Like George Clooney.

--

**Thanks for the response. Hope you liked this part. :)**


	3. Part Three

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Three.**

**--**

**August 3rd, Monday****.**

_Horace Mantis Academy, Biology Class, 10.00pm._

The universe is really out to get me MMJ. Do you know why?

See just before Biology, I had Math with Macy. And that's the only reason I love Math. Because Macy's in it with me and she helps me with trigonometry and quadratic equations and the like. And while she tries to teach me, I get to stare at her face for an unprecedented amount of time.

It's like being a kid in a candy store.

Flipping fantastic.

Anyways back to why I feel like the universe is out to get me. When we finish Math and walk to Biology, Macy always walks me because she has Advanced English which is further down the hallway from my Biology class.

But today, some stupid jock from the football team completely captured her attention by waxing eloquently about her performance in the last baseball game.

Why am I miffed? Not because Macy was being eloquently waxed about. Anybody has everybody right to do that. I mean, have you _even seen_ her? She's the prettiest, bestest and most awesome girl ever. You would be mad not to wax eloquent about her.

The reason I was miffed was because the idiot took my place. I mean, why does he even have to talk about baseball when he's obviously a football kind of guy. Idiot.

I was going to wax eloquent about her and maybe even throw in a few goo goo eyes and then try to slip in that my baseball pitches could use a little brushing up cause my skills were rusty and I had a charity game coming up. But instead he came along and usurped my place. Hmph.

Which was totally the truth but it would have been a legit way to spend time with her, without the cover of falsehood.

Cause the last thing your crush needs to know is the depth of patheticness to which you will go to in order to have some alone time with her.

Not that what I'm doing is pathetic, cause I have a valid reason. I have a celebrity baseball match to play for and I'm gonna ask Macy to help me with my game cause she's awesome.

That reminds me. I need to ask her. Argh! Stupid Macy time hogging football jerk!

Have to go now, because Stella won't allow me to copy her notes on Mitosis and Meiosis.

Like I said, the universe is against me.

Sigh.

-

_Horace Mantis Academy, Cafeteria, 12.30 pm._

Oh my gawd MMJ, I discovered something very strange and quite frankly head-scratching.

Nick Lucas, as in my little brother has a thing for Stella Malone, my best friend. I never expected this; it was so out of the blue. I mean you look at Nick and Stella and go huh, what cute friends but never for a moment would you think the two have something for each other. Yeah, Stella has a thing for him too.

Which would explain Saturday's sewing session. Hehehehe.

I'm pretty sure Nick enjoyed it as did Stella. I have a really dirty leer on my face and this poor Junior from across the table is looking askance at me, horrified no doubt by the perverted expression on my face. Oh well, there goes another fan. Never mind. We can always find some new ones.

Aw, I just saw them making googly eyes at each other because they thought no one was looking. I will admit, they are every cute together. Maybe I shall conspire with Macy and meddle. That way no one can accuse me of having banana mush for brains.

And then I will get to spend more time with Macy.

Aaaaahhhh! This plan is so awesome I can hardly contain my happiness.

Bye. I'm going and randomly hugging Macy.

Ah, the perks of being random and crazy are that nobody questions your motives half the time.

Um, also excuse the fan girl tone of the entry. Sometimes I do need to let my inner fan girl out.

Thank goodness, this is a journal which is not read by anybody.

-

_Lucas residence, Bedroom, 7.30 pm._

Macy agreed to conspire and matchmake. Apparently she has known of it for quite a while. Hmmm…I don't know why I didn't notice.

Oh wait, now I do. When Macy is around its kind of hard to concentrate on anything else. Even eating sometimes becomes a problem. Some embarrassing spills on my shirts bear testament to this. I'm lucky Stella hasn't bludgeoned me senseless as yet. Maybe that's because she's been distracted by Nick. There's an unholy gleam in my eyes as I think of the plentiful possibilities for teasing.

Oh crap. I got to go do my trig homework. And there won't be Macy to help me. Lost the gleam. Damn. Math sucks the fun out of anything. I mean when you are a rock star who need Math huh? Stupid teachers and stupid education system built to torture poor unsuspecting students like me.

Screw you world.

-

_Lucas Residence, balcony, 10.30 pm._

Macy just called to let me know she has a plan. She told me to be at school by eight o'clock sharp tomorrow. I was so excited I giggled. I was mortified but then thankfully May giggled too and then we both laughed. And this time I wished her sweet dreams and moonbeams. She sounded agreeably surprised but happy though.

I can be smooth sometimes you know. Even if other times, I'm a total idiot.

That's just the way I roll.

(I just can't stop squealing like a stuck pig about tomorrow. I'm so pumped; I think it's going to take me a while to sleep. Sigh. Oh, I know, I'll go trouble Kevin. That should be fun.)

Night MMJ.

-

**Notes to self.**

Throw Frankie off the trail. Maybe bribe him with a month's supply of Twizzlers?

Practice kissing the pillow, in the Stellavator though. Need to be prepared but nobody can find out though.

Ask Macy for baseball help before the game actually happens.

Make up some new excuses to have Macy spend time with me.

Oh and play matchmaker for Nick and Stella along with Macy. Aren't I an awesome brother?

--

**Sorry I'm a little off with this one. Will try to do better next chapter. :)**


	4. Part Four

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Four.**

--

**August 9th, Sunday.**

_Kitchen, Lucas Residence, 10.30 am._

I can finally put into action my plan to get Macy to like me, now that I have thought it all out. It's called.

"The Plan To Get Macy To Like Me'.

So sue me, it's not the most creative title. I'm kinda working under duress here. I under a little _too_ much stress. More stress than I can usually handle. Let me list out all of my problem and then you'll know what I'm talking about. And I'll completely overlook the fact that I'm talking to a journal, cause let's face it; I'm ALREADY in crazy town.

1. My hormones are outta control. Last Wednesday, I made the mistake of walking into the gym at two o'clock. And I saw Macy, all lovely and wet in her swimming gear and I felt like a really bad person cause I drooled like there was no tomorrow. It was so bad; I had to go to confession because I had, ahem, questionable thoughts. My Mom taught be how not to objectify girls and all and but will anyone teach my stupid hormones that?

(The priest was really nice though. He asked me to say the Hail Mary around ten times and told me not to worry too much. It was to be expected since I was a teen and all. He just asked me to find an outlet for my um, energies. And you are supposed to be my outlet MMJ. I guess I need to find something else to do. Er, don't worry though. I um, quite enjoy writing in you.)

2. Being in close proximity with Macy is becoming a bit difficult. On Friday, we were at the lunch table and she leaned, yeah, she LEANED across me to take the chocolate pudding from Stella and then she licked it with her fingers. I had to hurriedly excuse myself from the table. If something else like this happens I might have to cut myself off from the world and join a celibate monastery cause obviously I cant jump on Macy and kiss her senseless, even if I want to . So therefore I'll have to join a monastery. I think the Tibetan ones will accept me. The Dalai Llama is quite a cool dude and I wouldn't mind being a Buddhist.

And believe me; I do want to kiss Macy senseless. I'm a bad _bad_ person.

3. The Stella and Nick plan is sort of driving me mad. Cause one moment, they are all up in each other's faces, the next moment they are distant as night and day. At this rate, how am I even going to get them close to each other? Macy says not to worry though. She's got a foolproof plan waiting to be put into action.

I have faith in her, so I'm technically not that worries. But seriously, Nick and Stella's unresolved UST is driving me mad.

4. Frankie is hot on your trail. He's been sniffing around the room and acting all nice towards me. That day he even offered me the last bit of Sunny D and he never does that to anyone. So I brought a lock for you and I switched your cover with that of the Sports Almanac. That should keep him off your trail for a while. And maybe I should throw him a red herring. Yeah, I'll do that.

On a side note, I need to stop reading Raymond Chandler!

There you, those are the most pressing of my problems. And other than those there are my usual rock star ones.

Nobody said life would easy. But you think they would at least lie to you so that you have the luxury of thinking it is.

I need to go to Macy's now to partly stare at her and then be all idiot like.

Oh joy.

Sigh.

-

_Random Park, Neighborhood, 3.00 pm._

I need to burn my eyes or do something like that. I just committed the worst of crimes and I'm sure Macy hates me and I'm going to hell.

I should have knocked. I was thought to knock before I enter rooms! But no, because I'm an idiot with no brains, I didn't do that, I walked right in. And…and…and…and then I saw Macy half-naked!!!!

Of course I left the room but only after she screamed and I screamed and then she screamed and then I screamed and after drooling I left and ran all the way out before she came after me with a pick axe.

I am going to burn in the lowest rungs of hell. Period.

-

_Random Park ,Neighborhood, 3.03 pm._

I am going to burn in hell because I'm till thinking about it.

Macy wears Hello Kitty underwear. They are quite cute and she of course looks adorable because _duh_, she always is, no matter what she's wearing or doing.

I'm going to hell!!!!!

What will the priest say?

What will mom say?

What will god say?

I have a feeling Hail Mary's and prayers are not going to fix this.

I wonder if I'll have to do self-flagellation like that guy in the creepy Tom Hanks movie.

Why does the world hate me?

-

_Sometime later._

Fuck, I'm going to hell.

(Sorry for the swearing but you gotta understand, these are desperate times!)

I'm going and drowning my sorrows in a gallon of Diet Coke, since I'm underage for alcohol.

-

_Bedroom, Lucas residence, 9.00 pm._

Dear Joe,

I'm clever and you are not. Also, tell Macy _already_, it's getting on everyone else's nerves, watching you make moo eyes at her _all the freaking_ time.

Also, I think you are most definitely going to hell.

Love,

Your clever brother Frankie.

-

_Bedroom, Lucas residence, 10.00pm._

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does the world hate me?

Excuse me, I've got someone to strangle and a body to dispose.

-

**Notes to self.**

Murder Frankie.

Apologize to Macy.

Murder Frankie.

Look up Tibetan Monasteries.

Murder Frankie.

Have my brain checked.

Murder Frankie!

--

**S****orry for the late update and the surfeit of cliches. I will never again write when my head is splitting into two. And I don't mean any offence to Buddhism or Christianity. Also there are two movie references, see if you can spot them, though one is pretty obscure but have a go anyways. :)**


	5. Part Five

**The Manly-Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Five.**

**--**

**August 12th, Wednesday.**

_Kitchen, Lucas Residence, 7.00am._

MMJ,

I did come close to strangling Frankie and then Joe and Nick had to restrain me from doing anything rash. Not that I would have done anything drastic but I was working up to give Frankie a good fright. There are some things little brothers need to learn to not touch upon. And one of them is manly-man journals of older brothers. Anyways the fact that Nick and Kevin had to restrain me scared the beejuzus out of Frankie and he has been put on candy probation, lost his TV privileges and was grounded for a week. That was all Mom though, not me. Me, I just ranted and raved.

Once she heard the reason for which I was mad, she was mad that Frankie hadn't respected one of the rules of the house, don't mess with your brother's things. I mean Nick and Kevin mess around with my hair goo and she blows up and is fine with that but she said that this was going too far.

Come to think of it, even I wouldn't have usually blown up the way I did. It's just that, that day I really had a crap-tacular day, you know with Macy and all and I kind of went on Mecha Godzilla rage rampage.

And while the anger has waned, sadly the shitty feeling has not.

I mean, it's been three days since the incident and I have made sure that Macy doesn't have to see my perverted face. I can't look at her without blushing in shame…and thinking ahem, a few other things which my treacherous hormones think.

Just so y'know. I'm er… keeping the stuff G-rated. Can't have someone hijack my journal again and read out that I've been having dreams involving Macy, leather and a whip.

Which was friggen awesome by the way. And I really can't feel that guilty over it because I know for sure we have no control over dreams. And it's also a good thing because I don't need to confess this to the priest.

Last time at confession I told him about what happened and he just about had a conniption. Throw in kinky sex dreams and he just might explode with the outrageousness and blasphemy of it all.

And the worst part of all, I didn't even get to ask her to help me for the baseball game. Our team lost spectacularly to this team called Mackenzie Random from Hollywood Studios(I know, weird name right?) whose captain was this tiny little girl, who was uber scary.

And the worst part was, they were the least bit interested in the game and they still won! I mean they had this couple, who was too much in love with each other to even think of the game, this blonde hot chick who refused to play and two Laurel and Hardy types who kept tripping over each other's feet. I mean they were so much more worse than us and they won. We were just all over the place but we were not that bad.

Nick would like to gripe that it because if my incompetence that we lost the game, but I would beg to differ. I was under considerable emotional distress during that point due to the Macy debacle and all and since my emotions were in a constant state of flux, I couldn't be held responsible for my non-functioning self.

Don't I sound all scientist-y? I like it. Maybe Macy will like it too. That is if I can ever pick up the guts to speak to her again. Which somehow I don't think is happening for a long time.

Got to go, Mom's making blue-berry pancakes with whipped cream and I want to eat.

Cause despite all the tragedy and stuff, I'm still a teenage boy and food is at the top of all priorities, even above Dove's hair volumizing shampoo for straight hair and Axe's Dark Temptation Cologne.

-

_Janitor's Closet, Horace Mantis Academy, 9.00 am._

MMJ,

Blueberry pancakes do a tummy good and they kinda heal the soul too. You may ask why I'm hiding in a closet or since you are inanimate and all, and later on my grown up self might want to ask why I'm in a janitor's closet, so I'm just going to say that I was conducting a survey of Janitor's closets and their cleaning supplies, just so that I don't have to sound pathetic and say it's because I'm avoiding Macy.

But maybe my grown-up self, still being me will already know that. So it's a futile attempt.

Wow, all this future stuff is the kind that causes a headache.

Any ways the point is that, I'm a wimp and I'm not man enough to face up to Macy and apologize and move on. The thing is, I don't think I can move on. This is one of those events which definitely changed the course of stuff in my life. It may not show it, but see, I don't think I'll ever think of Macy the same again.

I mean, I did like her before but now, if she says, it's okay, we can still be friends, I don't think that is going to work for me.

I can't do that. Because do that would be like ripping my balls out and stomping on them.

Gross imagery but it sure does get the point across.

See, things won't go back to the way they were, and there will always be this awkwardness, cause I'd be all, _gee, I'm friends with a girl who I constantly think of in a not so friendly way_. What a wonderful friend I am.

Real life is not all roses and whatever goes along with that saying.

The point being, I'd rather have nothing at all than have some awkward friendship where she doesn't want to sit around me and where I'm desperately trying not to letch and keep it PG-13.

Friendships are not based on foundations as shitty at that. And I definitely believe that Macy is worth so much more than some half-assed attempt of friendship on my part to disguise my morally scandalous intentions.

It really sucks being a purity ring wearing, teenage boy band playing teen sometimes.

And also, it sucks being a religious person.

Not that I hate ya and all G, but seriously, confessing that I fantasize about a girl to you, while you look upon me with a benevolent – and disapproving gaze too- is not the most uplifting of things.

Sigh.

I gotta go before Mr. Mulliner rides my behind for being late for Geometry. _Again._

La-

Oh crap Macy's here glaring at me.

Dear person who finds this very manly-man journal of Joe Lucas,

If I don't make it out alive, I just want to say, I love you Mom, Dad, Kevin, Nick, Frankie. Stella, my best bud, I love you too. Macy Misa, I love you but not in the platonic kind of way but in the way that, I want to write love songs and all that nonsense about. So basically I totally love you in the romantic way.

I would like all my personal assets distributed between my brothers and I would like Macy to have my purity ring.

That's all, goodbye world. I go to meet my doom at the hands of the girl I love.

If this were a movie, I'd so be in the running for an Oscar. Or at least I'd do better than that Twilight dude who sparkles.

Bye.

-

**Notes to Self.** ( if self is still alive that is)

Make a will.

Finish algebra worksheet.

Clean room.

Make a donation to favorite charity of choice to thank the Lord for keeping me alive.

(Dude if you do, I swear I'll be good. The best ever.)

--

**Little lame but it was necessary and I hope it was not bad. Once again, no offence to any religion as such, I'm just using it as a plot device.**


	6. Part Six

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas – Part Six**_._

_--_

_Kitchen, Lucas Residence, 3.30 pm._

Sup MMJ?

In my opinion, the kitchen is the best place to hang. I mean it smells of cinnamon and apples and sunshine and warmth –which by the way is just how Macy smells to me –and then there's all this awesome food around to eat and yeah, kitchen is my definition of heaven along with Macy kissing me.

Oh and by the way, did you notice? I'm alive!

Who's the man now? Ha? Ha?

Me, that's who.

Okay, let me try to adequately transcribe here what went down between me and Macy in the Janitor's closet. I wish I could say it was action of the breathless, toe curling, pants tightening kind but it wasn't. It was a different kind. (And if you damn hormones would just go jump off a cliff, I think I'd be able to lead a happy life and my mind wouldn't be assaulted by images of the inappropriate kind!)

Anyhow, here's what happened. I was cowering in the closet and Macy was standing over me like an avenging angel, a very pretty angel though. But it was still a little scary you know. Cause she was standing up, I was sitting down and I felt like a cockroach.

Macy: "Joe…what are you doing the janitor's closet?"

Me: "You know, the usual stuff, just chilling and hanging."

Macy: "Right. _In_ the janitor's closet. Sure." She said it in that tone which shows that she didn't believe me but she chose not to question me, asking me a different question instead. "Anyhow, why have you been avoiding me?"

Me: I blushed with shame. I was hoping that this wouldn't come up. "I…erm…had stuff to do." I suck at excuses. And lying too. I'm such a failure as a teen.

Macy: 'And all of that involved avoiding me?' Her voice wobbled and her eyes grew large as she sat down next to me. I felt instantly horrible. I mean, it's not nice to see how much you have hurt another person and for me it was not nice to see how much I have hurt Macy. Especially you know, since I like _like_ her.

Me: "Nonononononono!!!!" I cried out. She looked at me in confusion. I don't blame her. What was happening to my speech capabilities or as the call it in psychology, my fine motor functions? I was talking like a broken record which had gone wack.

Me: "I mean I was avoiding you because of me."

Macy: "That does not make any sense Joe." And she was right. It did not make sense. I mean it made sense to me because I was ashamed of what had happened and therefore I had been avoiding her. I then decided I might as well make a clean breast about it. All this beating around the bush was getting us nowhere.

Me: "Macy, I was avoiding you because I walked in on you half-naked." And then I blushed like a little girl.

Macy: "Then shouldn't I be the one avoiding you?" And that was a totally legit question. Come to think of it, why wouldn't she? After all I had been ogling at her like a starved monkey would at a pretty yellow banana.

Me: Why aren't you avoiding me? Don't you hate me for walking in?" I left out the staring part because I was afraid that her answer would be yes in that respect and that would simply be a no in the sum totally of my totally grand plan to get Macy to like me.

Macy: Because I know it wasn't on purpose. And I don't hate you or anything. I mean stuff like that happens. Sure it was embarrassing being um caught in my coughhellokittycough underwear but I'll live. And I'm pretty sure I'll walk in on you to one day. It wont be on purpose or anything like that cause even though I you all very much, my crazy tendencies don't extend you seeing you naked and all. But the point is it could happen and it has happened and it's really no big deal.

Me: I began thinking I could totally arrange for her to walk in. Bad _bad_ me. So I just hugged her instead. And she hugged me back with a smile.

Macy: "We're okay now?

I nodded happily. Then she pulled me up and we both walked to class arm in arm. I almost squealed like a little girl because of all the body contact.

Who knew that I'd walk out of this alive and happy WITH my balls intact? Maybe the J-Man up there was looking out for me after all. Or he musta had heard my whiny prayers and finally caved in to stop me from whining some more.

The second scenario seems more plausible.

So MMJ, I and Macy are totally cool now.

There's only one problem. I still don't know where we stand on the issue of friends or more. From what she said, I think her stand indicates she's veering more towards the friends' side.

That would just suck big time.

Let's hope it's not true.

Sigh.

-

_Bedroom, Lucas residence, 1.00 am._

So I couldn't sleep and I was thinking over stuff and do you know what I just realized MMJ? I realized that though I listed why I like Macy, I didn't list the real reasons which made me fall head over heels for her.

See, when I first met Macy two years ago, I was crushing hard on Stella and I was a little scared of her. Because seriously, every time we were around her, we got injured in some way or the other. And at one point, half my clothes got ripped off me. So you can see why I kept my distance. It was a kind of a self-preservation thing. But then as she began spending more time with us, Macy got over her craziness you know. I guess here the props really go to Kevin because he thought her a few breathing techniques and generally conditioned her to being just herself around us. Then she and Kevin became best friends and she began hanging out more here. And that's when I began hanging out with her.

The thing with Macy was that she always knew how to have fun and not get into trouble. I mean, her idea of fun wasn't doing crazy stuff simply for the heck of it. She taught me to take joy in the simplest of things. Like enjoying the breeze from a wound down window in a car, eating ice-cream in the rain, playing on the swings in the early morning, just running as fast you can for the heck of it, spending nights watching meteor showers, having small impromptu picnics, even on school days. Macy seemed to have a way of making the most mundane and boring things fun.

It opened my eyes to something.

It was like she was teaching to take time and stop and smell the roses. And I never really was able to do that before because I was so caught up you know, just trying to be a teenage rock star. I didn't separate both of my selves. Macy made me realize that separating my ordinary life and my famous life was the only way I could truly enjoy what I had.

And before I knew it, I had kind of fallen for Macy. I did like Stella and all but at some point of time I realized that if Stella and I were to ever break up, I'd miss my friendship with her more than my relationship with her. And of course that told me that while Stella and I would be best friends for life, as something more we would simply fail. What Stella needed was someone to balance out her craziness'. That's where Nick came in. he was everything Stella ever wanted in a guy. And if I say so myself, the dude was pretty smooth and suave. It was just that Nick had this air of ease and capability around me. And that's when it truly hit me, that what I needed was someone to balance me out. Someone to draw the line on my crazy self and yet not bind me completely.

That person was Macy.

She let me be and yet, she was the calm to my storm. I enjoyed every little moment I spent with her because you know; it was like learning something new everyday. And not only about things, but also about yourself. That way, I kinda learnt I had a thing for knitting.

And just so you know, knitting is a very soothing occupation when you are feeling stressed.

So yeah, I think I fell for Macy because she showed that the best part about living was being yourself. And just by being her lovely sweet self she bowled me over.

-

Damn. This was one sappy AND heavy entry. However I believe the occasion warranted it so I guess it can pass. And now that I have a lock for the journal, Frankie can't get to it. Wait? Where's the key.

Shit.

-

**Notes to Self.**

Find the damn key before Frankie does.

Get Macy a bunch of flowers just because.

Bribe Frankie in case he finds the keys. (A month's supplies of Oreo's should be good I'm thinking.)

Throw Nick and Stella together and make it happen!

Find the damn key cause I don't have enough money for a months supplies of Oreos. I am teen rock star with a limited allowance!

--

**Sorry for the late update. Hope this chapter was fine. :)**


	7. Part Seven

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Seven.**

**--**

**August 13th, Thursday.**

_Biology Lab, Horace Mantis Academy, 1.40 pm._

Aha! I found the key. Now I needn't bribe Frankie with a month's supplies of Oreos that I don't have and I don't need to worry about how my journal will be hijacked by a pint sized villain of nefarious antecedents.

Score one for Joe Lucas!

I would like to kiss someone and profess my love for the world and everything that is wonderful—and I would preferably like to kiss Macy but since this is Bio lab and all, I shall endeavor to keep my feelings to myself and instead dissect the frog with all the enthusiasm in the world.

Blergh.

Even all the enthusiasm in the world and my love for Macy cannot make me dissect that slimy _thing _on the tray. I think my biology grade depends on it though. I think if I pinch my nose and do it, I should be good. Okay here goes; first I have to pour a solution of something over it in order to disinfect it I think.

Gah! This is gross, really really gross.

I wonder what Macy's doing now. I know she has Gym and wow—isn't she wonderful at just about everything. I can just imagine her doing track and flying past everyone with her hair streaming out behind her, sweat gleaming on her smooth brown skin, clothes clinging to her body, her slim legs taking graceful strides and whoa—I gotta stop and concentrate on the frog. I think I put too much solution on it.

Wait-- I think its beady eyes are following me everywhere too. Stop following me you damned dead frog! You are dead already. Stop it. Argh! I think one of its legs twitched. It's alive and evil and it's out to get me!

It appears to be convulsing now. Seriously, this is not funny. Frogs with epileptic seizures are not funny. This thing twitching around on the tray is really gross and it's making me--oops, I think there's something funny in my tummy that's travelling upwards. Oh crap, I gotta go.

-

_Nurse's office, Horace Mantis Academy, 2.10 pm_.

Hi MMJ,

It turns out that the sight of a twitching dead frog makes me throw up spectacularly. If Newman is to be believed, I projectile vomited about six feet. And today's lunch was meatloaf, so Sarah Warren wasn't happy that half digested meatloaf chunks decorated her Jimmy Choo flats. Before I was carted off to the Nurse's office, I offered her my apologies and offered of course to replace the shoes.

And now I'm lying here and writing in my diary and I feel like a sad panda.

Holy shitake mushrooms of doom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just realized something. Back then in bio lab, I thought something. Argh!!!I didn't know I was capable of thinking it cause I'm an effing teen for god sakes and honestly I didn't expect to think it so fast and oh my god I said I love Macy and frack, this is SOME heavy shit.

I need to lie down. My head hurts like a mother.

Ah, I am already lying down.

Eek! I have a visitor and it smells like Macy so I'm putting you away.

-

_Sometime later on_.

That was Macy. She brought me some yogurt so that my tummy would be better. And then you know what she did?

Oh yeah, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Do you know that feeling when a tic-tac explodes on your tongue, sending tiny shockwaves of flavor and pleasure shooting across it? It's the best feeling in the world, right after the minty and cool after taste a tic-tac leaves in your mouth.

Macy's kiss was even better than that. It was flipping wonderful.

Best day of my life.

Ever.

-

_Bedroom, Lucas Residence, 8.30 pm._

MMJ,

I'm supposed to be doing homework now but I just wanted to post the latest on Nick and Stella. The first step to trying to match make two people is finding out their common interests. But the thing is with Nick and Stella; it's really hard to find a common interest. It was hard for me anyways.

And then I hit upon it. They both appreciate fancy stuff just like I appreciate a good pair of jeans.

So what I did is I went online and got two tickets for an evening concert of Frank Sinatra songs at this fancy French restaurant which Stella mentioned once that she really liked. Yeah, Nick and Stells both love Frank Sinatra and think he's the bomb. I have no problems with that. The dude was smooth after all and I appreciate any guy who's a smooth and well-mannered ladies man.

The only problem is I don't know how to give it to them. I called up Macy and told her what I had done and she got so excited that she said she loved me so much she could kiss. (How I wish both of those things would come true). And she said that as far as giving it to them goes, I need not worry, she has a PLAN.

So I guess I don't need to worry anymore.

And you know MMJ, I realized something else. I may have thought I love Macy but I don't think there's any reason to get scared of it. It's an emotion which I feel and they are more often than not out of our control. I mean I cannot control what I want to feel or not feel right? If that were the case, then the world me live in, it wouldn't be what it is.

And in the same way, I don't expect Macy to fall in love with me or anything. Things will happen if they will happen. I can show her what I feel and I woo her gently and if she does fall in love with me, it would make me the happiest guy in the world. If she doesn't, I walk away knowing that I tried even though it will feel like I'm ripping my skin away from my skeleton.

But also, I needn't worry. I am still young and she's still young and we have all the time in the world.

For now, I'm just going to enjoy what I have and cherish it.

Night.

-

**Notes to self.**

Be philosophical more often. It stimulates the brain dude! And I discovered I like thinking seriously about stuff.

Don't get too serious. Position of serious (and sometimes constipated looking) thinker is already taken by Nick. And I'm sure if I usurp him, he won't be too happy.

Try to get Nick and Stella together more.

Taunt Frankie just for kicks (aren't I evil?)

But make sure the journal is hidden first. If I taunt him and then he finds it, it will simply be tragic and I will be a fool.

Get more tic-tacs so I can relive the feel of Macy's lips against my cheek.

--

**I am sorry for the late updates. I really am. It's just that real life is pretty busy and finding the time and motivation to write chaptered stories is getting me down a bit. However I was determined to update today so I hope this worked for you all.**


	8. Part Eight

Dedicated to **LaPaige** for being the very definition of awesome. I want to dedicate an entire story to her, but since I don't have the time or ideas for now, I shall dedicate this to her, even though it's not thanks enough for all the wonderful things she says. I'm sorry Paige. But as soon as I can, I will write you something wonderful.

--

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Eigh****t.**

**--**

**August 21st, Friday.**

Dear MMJ,

The following is a recapitulation of the events that took place on this Friday evening. I really cant be bothered to write in dialogue mode so here you have it, in first person mode. If only I could pass this off as my English assignment. Hah. Maybe I could if I changed the names. Joe could be Moe, Stella could be Bella, Macy could be Stacy and Nick could be---Stick? We'll see. Anyhow here goes.

**As narrated by Joe Lucas.**

So Macy somehow convinced Nick and Stella to go. But at the last moment, we realized a flaw in our plan. How would we know if Nick and Stella enjoyed the date if we weren't there to see proof of it? I mean, it's not like they were going to tell us right? Because far as we knew, they hadn't even told each other that they liked each other. Then Macy had an _Idea_, she suggested we both should go too, except we should get seats which are far away from them. She also said she'd be able to explain away our situation quite competently if they need ever arose so there'd be no problem. Then she asked what I wanted to do.

I of course said, hell yes. Well not that exactly but I said something more polite. You see, this was an opportunity for me too. I mean, I would be there in a tux and Macy would there be in an evening dress—because those were standard dress regulations for really fancy places and then I would have due cause to act like a smooth suave gentleman and show Macy that I was the ONLY dude for her.

It's was a brilliant plan wasn't it?

--

By the evening came, I was alternately freaking out and being ecstatically happy. Thankfully, it was sometimes good to be known as the crazy one. Nobody looked askance at the crazy dude in the family going crazy then, hopping from one leg to another and generally behaving like a madcap monkey.

With Kevin's help, I put together a decent outfit. I know what you are thinking MMJ—Kevin helping me pick out a dress? Is Joe crazy because he just might end up going out in a monkey suit? Actually I don't blame you because I harbored some suspicions along the same lines. But as it turned out, Kevin had become pretty darn good with clothes ever since he became a cheerleader. He believed that they had awakened his inner fashion guru—and I can't even begin to imagine the amount of gay weight age that pronouncement carried. But I don't think it bothered him because it was not like Kevin cared. Kevin always did whatever he's wanted to do regardless of the way people perceived him. And I think it served him well because in that way, Kevin was able to withstand the ills of a rock star life while me and Nick, we had a few issues dealing with it.

Anyway, back to Kevin's fashion awesomeness. As he was helping me get accessorized (I didn't even know that was a word!), he told me that he helps Stella with a lot of stuff like our wardrobe and stitching and stuff. And now I know why he's the only one she doesn't get angry at. It must be because she believes that unlike me and Nick, Kevin is actually capable of dressing himself very well because he has a Future In Fashion.

So yeah, Kevin hooked me up with some pretty stuff. And I will admit, I looked pretty—and I do always look good, but this time I was handsome. Like a movie star. Wait, I'm a rock star, so I looked handsome and cool.

Meanwhile Nick was flapping around the house like a headless chicken. And it was so hilarious to watch because Nick is the calm composed one and seeing him hyperventilate is really fun. And while Nick was running around, guess what me and Kevin were doing? Yeah, we were laughing our asses off Nick continued to hyperventilate and shower some curses on us.

In the end Frankie took pity on him and helped him out and calmed him down. As he passed me by, he gave a wink that implied he knew everything. And I think he does know everything. Sometimes, it's like my littlest brother is an evil mastermind. God help anyone who ticks him off. And some day, I fear I'll find out that while Frankie was growing up, he worked for the Pentagon's super stealth division. You just never knew with him.

Nick was the one who first left. When Kevin gave him a bouquet to give Stella, Nick blushed. I inwardly smirked. My grand plan was just about beginning. Because you see, I gave Kevin the bouquet to give to Nick to give to Stella. And yes, I brought a bouquet for Macy too. And awesome one with gazillion of pretty flowers that I can't remember the name of.

As soon as Nick left, I dressed as hurriedly as I could and I spent a good few minutes brushing my teeth.

In another few minutes I was fully dressed and good to go. Before I went though, I sent up a silent prayer. Just for this night, I wanted everything to go perfectly. For Nick and Stella and for me and Macy. And just as I was leaving, Kevin and Frankie appeared at the door to sdee me off. And as I was getting into my car, they called out something cryptic. Something which struck me only later.

"Be yourself. She already likes you."

--

As I was sitting in front of Macy's house, waiting for her—I offered to come to the door but Macy said that she would advise against that because then I would be subjected to the third degree by her father, so I prudently decided to stay away. Yeah, so as I was sitting in the car, I was mulling about the cryptic words of my eldest and youngest sibling respectively. And then it struck me.

They said, "Be yourself, she already likes you."

That meant, Macy already liked me!It sent a billion sparks of warmth shooting through my body and filled me up completely with happiness. If I would have been an exploding firework then, I would have made one pretty explosion. I was just so happy and full of happiness.

And at that very moment—this tingling sense at the back of my neck told me to look up, so I did, and that's when I saw Macy walking down her pathway. She was wearing a cocktail dress that was buttercup yellow and just looking at her in it reminded me of sunshine and daisies. But more than the dress on her, it was the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes that made my heart race harder. It all reminded me of one thing.

I was eighteen and immature and so in love.

It was an exhilarating and scary thought and it sent adrenaline rushing through my veins. Macy reached the car and I hopped out so that I could open the door for her. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"You look beautiful." And sometimes, even the simplest of statements carried the whole weight of the world on their shoulders. Macy beamed at me and she gave me a kiss on my cheek. That alone should have had me weak at the knees—and it did but I somehow managed to keep standing. I did have an idiotic crazy smile on my face though.

"You look very handsome yourself Joe," Macy said with a shy smile and I think that made me grin all the more. I helped her in—and god help me, I've never been more entranced by a pair of smooth silky brown legs such as her but I tucked away my drooling self. Tonight, I was going to try to be a man.

I walked back to my side of the door and climbed back in. Before I started the ignition, Macy intertwined her fingers with mine and gave them an appreciative squeeze and a smile that I would call equal parts happy and hopeful. It filled me with hope too, unfurling inside my self like a flower blooming under the sun.

That was when I knew it. I knew it in my bones. Tonight was going to be something.

I didn't know if tonight was going to be magical or wonderful or disastrous or horrible but tonight was going to be something big.

Tonight, it was going to be epic, whatever it was.

--

**To Be Continued.**

--

I am a right royal idiot for not updating for so long and I'm very sorry indeed. But as I have quite sadly found out, that like many a times before, real life and studying demand that they come first. And in all fairness, they are right. Sigh.

And please dont hurl pitchforks at me for ending here. The whole thing would have been too much to type out and frankly speaking, I don't have that much energy --it's Deepavali here, festival time and since I've been up since 5 in the morning, I'm pooped-- but I swear, I'll try to update faster this time.

Cross my heart and hope to die.

Also, Happy Deepavali to everyone! :)


	9. Part Nine

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas - Part Nine.**

**--**

**August 21st, Friday - Continuation.**

We reached right on time for our reservations and as I was talking to the maitre'd in what was hopefully a smooth man of the world voice, out of the corner of my eye I could see Nick and Stella, already seated at their table. Theirs was a cozy side table and there was single lit candle on the table along with the flowers. In the dim light of the restaurant, I could see Stella's face, lit by the soft glow of the candle. She looked so softly radiant, a smile playing on her lips, hopeful and fervent. And I could see the look on Nick's face as he gazed at her. To anyone else it would have seemed that my brother was looking very serious. But I knew better. The look on Nick's face was one of adoration. Complete and unequivocal adoration. As if Stella were the very reason he breathed in air and the very reason he wrote his songs.

I knew that look. I had experienced it so many times. I turned to look at Macy who was gazing at them with a happy smile. It was tender and loving and I knew she was so happy for the two of them. It only made me smile all the more and if possible love her all the more.

The maitre'd led us to our table and as I faced Macy over the glow of the scented candles and aromatic roses, I decided today would be the day that I told her everything.

"They look so happy," Macy said, her eyes shining with happiness. I was going to say something very dignified but then I remembered the advice that Kevin and Frankie had given me just before I left the house. Macy already liked me and I had to be myself. Not some pompous old geezer who used fancy words to show off just how awesome he was.

"Yes, they do. And it's because I'm a superb matchmaker darling." I said with an exaggerated wriggling motion of my eyebrows, and drawling on the word drawling. Macy giggled in delight and smiled. Well what do you know? It turns out Kevin and Frankie were right. Being myself was how Macy liked me.

An emcee came onto the stage and introduced the band. There was an old guy who looked much too handsome for his own good and a prettily graying middle aged lady and they were going to sing the first song of the evening which was a duet called Something Stupid. I mentally groaned when I heard the last line of the second stanza.

_And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you._

That was exactly what I was going to say and Mr. Sinatra deemed it a foolish and stupid thing. It did tons of stuff to bolster my timid confidence, please note the sarcasm. But I wasn't going to let that stop me.

To quote a JONAS song, I was speechless, over the edge and breathlessly in love with Macy. Telling her was no longer an option but rather a necessity that stemmed from a desire to see her kiss me right on the lips in breathless delight. (I may have read a romance novel or two in preparation, which would account for my rather flowery prose. Or maybe I was channeling John Donne or this dude called Byron, who Macy informed me during Literature class, had been in love with his half sister. Weird guy. And I don't want to be the dude that channels Byron cause, hello, messed up or what?)

But I didn't how to start because after all romance for Dummies wasn't a book that existed. So I began with this little gem of an opener.

"So…"

I know. I wanted to stab myself over and over again.

"It's okay Joe, you don't have to make this like an official date or something," Macy said, smiling at me widely as if me not being able to talk properly didn't matter at all. I was a little thrown off and I looked a little closer at her. You know how sometimes when people are hurt they smile so wide so show everything is okay but their eyes glisten with hurt showing that everything is not okay.

"There's no place else I'd rather be," I assured her truthfully. Macy looked at me uncertainly and then smiled. And this time I could tell it was genuine and it allowed me to press on further.

"Seriously Macy, I'm sitting with the prettiest and most awesomest girl in the room. I'm sure there's not a luckier guy than me in the room."

"You sure are a charmer Joe," Macy said laughing and blushing.

"No, I just like speaking the truth," I told her, looking at her meaningfully. I think that was when she realized, you know, that there was stuff I felt for her and suddenly for a moment, old awkward Macy had come back. She looked down into her food, fingering her cutlery and also dropping it a few times. She was flustered but from the one small look I caught of her face, she was also happy.

That made me too a very happy guy.

I think by that point, both of us had forgotten about Nick and Stella. I knew I had forgotten about them completely because I was completely absorbed by Macy sitting in front of me and talking to me like I was the only guy in this world who mattered. Macy on the other hand gave them cursory glances from time to time but other than that, she left them to their own devices.

It was like the reason we had even come here in the first place had disappeared.

We talked about everything under the sun. From school to music, from Kevin to Frankie and even she agreed with my theory about Frankie. That my little but admittedly awesome and most of the times sneaky brother was a part of an intelligence agency—the kids division of course. It was the only way I could explain his knowledge and all his cleverness. Because sometimes, the real boss in our house was Frankie and not Nick—who liked to believe he was. Maybe Frankie let him believe that.

Oh the mystery.

But do you know what the best part of all was? The fact that Macy agreed with me. That she didn't think I was some conspiracy nut--Nick seemed to think so and Kevin's theory had something to do with brain transplants by aliens.

Wasn't that a wonderful sign?

--

For once it was nice to have Macy all to myself. I was basking in the glow of her wonderfulness, like a cat in the sunshine. At that very moment the emcee came on stage and announced the next song. I had passed a few songs by because I was so caught up with Macy and everything about her that I didn't pay attention to anything else but this song caught my attention.

It was called, '_I love you_.' Now, I know it was cliché but sometimes, clichés could be your best friend. I immediately knew that this was the moment I had been waiting for all along. It was now or never. I quickly stood up and Macy looked up at me surprised and concerned. I just grinned and offered her my hand.

"Can I have this dance?"

A blush bloomed along Macy's cheeks and she accepted. It was as if even she had understood the significance of the dance and the song. It made my heart skip a couple of beats.

She fit in my arms perfectly and as the music began playing, I truly felt like I was floating on air, with something exquisite and precious in my arms. Macy.

Each line and every word resonated within me and though I never said anything I hoped my eyes would convey the depth of what I felt so badly and so deeply.

_I love you. I love you.  
Is all that I can say.  
I love you. I love you.  
The same old worlds I'm saying in the same old way.  
I love you. I love you.  
Three words that are divine.  
And now, my dear, I'm waitin' to hear  
The words that will make you mine.  
Little girl, I love you.  
Can't you see I love you.  
I love you. Can't you see I love you.  
I love you. I love you.  
Three words that are divine.  
And now, my dear, I'm waitin' to hear  
The words that make you mine._

By the end of the dance, Macy was staring at me with shining hopeful eyes. I smiled and eased my damn collar which was beginning to choke me.

"Is that what you wanted to say Joe?" she asked tentatively, her hands clasped in front of her like an obedient nervous school girl. Wait, she was a school girl but you get the point right?

I nodded and somehow managed to speak—because my brain seemed to have deserted me because apparently dancing with the girl you love tends to turn you into a brainless puddle of mush.

"Three little words. I love you. For the past two years, one month, twenty four days, eight hours, fifty six minutes----"

Her lips where suddenly on mine and tonight it felt so right. Like we were meant to be and that everything that had ever happened was just supposed to lead up to this wondrous moment.

I don't care if the tone of this was chick like. The point was, I had been waiting for this ever since I fell in love with the girl with big brown soft sparkling eyes.

To have it happen finally made my heart feel it would explode with joy.

"I love you too," she whispered breathless against my lips and I sighed as I spun her around in happiness, not bothering about the fact that dignified dudes didn't act in such an un-dignified manner.

I had my girl? Did they?

Therefore, no comments from the peanut gallery.

--

From the time we kissed to the time I dropped of Macy home, I felt like I was in a dreamlike state. It was only after I dropped Macy off on her doorstep—and after a prolonged kissing session which we wont apologize for because we had to catch up on lost time—did I remember Nick.

It turned out stuff had gone well for them too.

There were no declarations of love but they were at least boyfriend and girlfriend. This made me happy because I finally got the girl and I set my brother and best friend up too.

It did wonders for my ego.

--

When I reached home, I think the silly grin on my face gave away everything. Kevin couldn't stop grinning as he hugged me in congratulations and Frankie shook my hand and muttered with an air of relief, "Finally."

And as I dropped into my bed that night, I send up a quick prayer of thanks and blew an air kiss in the general direction of Macy's house confident that she would receive it and treasure it. Because like Frankie said—

_Finally_.

--

So that was the end of the date. One more chapter and I think I'll be done. Hope this was decent. Mistakes, I'll fix tomorrow because I'm supposed to be in bed now and fast asleep.

Also, I made a banner for this story. Link is on the profile. it's quite bad but check it out, I like it at least. :)


	10. Part Ten

Dedicated to **everyone** who ever left a review. Thank you. :)

**--**

**The Manly Man Journal of Joe Lucas – Part Ten.**

**--**

**August 22****nd****, Saturday.**

_Bedroom, Lucas Residence, 5.50pm._

Hi MMJ!

The sky is blue, the grass is green and I'm in love. Seriously, I feel like Thumper in spring time. All twitterpatted. :D

You want to know why?

I'll tell you why.

I have a girlfriend. (Yes, I know. _Finally_. By the way, I can see you rolling your eyes okay? Nothing escapes the great Joe Lucas. Nothing.)

Anyhow, do you know who she is?

(Of course you don't, or maybe you would have if you were sentient but since you are not, I'll fill you up. Sometimes I wonder though. You feel dreadfully real in my head. Anyhow, back to bizness.)

Macy Misa. (Yeah. Girl of my dreams. Love of my life. Aint life grand?)

If I had known getting Stella and Nick together would have gotten me and Macy together, I would have done it much sooner.

But maybe, it wouldn't have turned the way it did then yesterday night. So in turn, I guess I should be thankful for yesterday night and not rushing it.

Because good things will come when they come.

And I just need to state this one time. Yesterday I danced to a Frank Sinatra song. With Macy in my arms.

It was heaven.

Like it validated my entire existence and purpose on this earth as a teenage rock star.

I got my happy ending.

Oh yeah, Nick and Stella got their happy ending too but _hello_, my journal and there for more blabbing about my happy ending. Okay?

Which I cannot seem to do enough of actually. I guess I owe partial thanks to Kevin and Frankie for sort of pointing me in the right direction. Also, I guess I owe you plenty thanks because being the non-responsive sound piece of a sometimes angsty, whiny, insecure AND horny teenage rock star can not be nice right?

So thanks MMJ, for helping me through these difficult few weeks. And even though this was a manly man journal, I know I filled you with a lot of un-manly stuff but it was terrifically nice to unburden myself somewhere because people always think that the handsome middle one doesn't have any problems. But that truth of the matter is that I do. And not everybody can always appreciate what it's like for a privileged teenage boy to feel like the whole world is ending. (It sounds like I'm whining but sometimes, it really does feel like no one will ever understand.)

You sort of kept my sanity intact because after writing in you, I could also read over the shit that I had done and not feel all that bad about it or look at things in a different light. And more often than not, putting my feelings down was helpful. It eased my heart and my mind and it didn't make everything feel so horrible.

So I guess this is good bye MMJ.

Someday I'll read over all of this and laugh and some days I'll return because I'll feel like you are the only one who understands.

(You were a totally awesome non-responsive friend and I am totally not crying un-manly tears now. For real. And these water blotches are not because I am crying. It's cause I spilt water on you and stuff. Accidentally.)

Now, off I go to begin my new relationship with Macy.

Wish me luck MMJ.

--

**Notes to self.**

Buy Macy a gift and flowers, just cause. (Well because I love her. :D: D :D)

Give Stella a gift and congratulate her cause she's my best friend and I'm happy that she's so happy.

Give Frankie a month's supply of Oreos cause I think I DO owe him big. (Sigh, I'm going to be one very poor rock star soon.)

Get Kevin a sewing machine; you know to get him started and all on his fashion career. (Which I don't think will ever happen because we are JONAS and _duh_, we're like never breaking up. So maybe Kevin can do his fashion label on the side. Like Diddy. Or Fiddy.)

P.S - Okay, I have discovered I cant just leave you yet. Besides you love me. You really really love me. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. Okay, I'll stop with the stupidity. Anyhow, seeing as I can't give you up just as yet, I'll come in occasionally and write occasionally okay?)

P.P.S – I love you. I love Macy too but I just wanted to say I love you too.

P.P.P.S – Gosh, I am much too sappy for a teenage rock star with a girlfriend. Wait, maybe I'm just the newest version of the metrosexual man because I am so in touch with my feelings. Yeah, that must be it.

Aren't I awesome?

Okay. Goodbye for real now.

Bye. :)

--

**I had no idea how to end this. I sort of vaguely knew but in the end, as you can see, it didn't play out very well. However dragging out the story out would have only killed me and you readers all the more. So it ends here.**

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews and favourites, they are much appreciated and they made writing this all the more fun. :)**

**Thanks guys. –HUGS –**


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